Mortgaging our kids’ fiscal futures is a concern but a bigger issue should be the drive of the kids in the developing world (Latin America, Asia, Eastern Europe) compared to the average American teen if you read Thomas L. Friedman’s The World Is Flat. While there are excepts, many teens in our community have the entitlement mentality that First Lady Michelle Obama and her mother refuse to allow the Obama girls to develop. Our children have funky dispositions and I can’t stand them as far as I can throw them. Can I throw them?
So, I am playing tennis with a former basketball coach at the high school yesterday and the football team is going through drills. Evidently, the coaches worked with the younger players first, then took the underclassmen pass the tennis courts to the practice field. For the next hour, I heard about a dozen players who appeared to be around ninth grade used the worst language in front of the gym as loudly as they could—s, a, mf, b, d, p and n-gger. Not my business, don’t speak to other people’s children, my name is West, I am not in that mess. Then I started to place the blame for this unacceptable behavior: the kids themselves, parents, lower grade teachers, church, family, DNA, lack of oxygen in the birth canal, was not whipped like we were. Spare the rob…spare the rob.
While I was no angel at that age, I respected women, children and older people during public conversations. We would change the language or say salty things quietly. Since I can’t give up on the youth because they are my classmates’ kids or sometimes grandkids, I employed the glare technique to no avail. For all the years I was respectful, I intend on enjoy the same reverence. As coaches’ wives and children walked past them, the ugliness continued without pause. I had enough after hearing part of the talk that would make a drunken sailor blush and said, “Fellows, would you please watch your language.” The ringleaders laughed and I decided that I would be at their games in the fall so I can watch decent kids put them on their behinds every time the ball is snapped.
In recent years, our high school sports teams have looked good on paper but lacked the character and focus to win state championships. Champions are made between the ears and coaches can’t be blame if they start with youth without strong moral fiber and will. I really don’t think I was upset at the kids as much as the parents who failed to prepare them for life—they are being raised by music videos. It pains me to say that those kids had the mentality and social skills of fourth graders and the okay kids were being negatively influenced by the worst ones. Here’s the fun part. As the coach walked back to the gym, the loudmouths got nervous when thinking that we were going to rat them out. Of course, I sung like a jaybird, which might have been a mistake because the little homies could be “connected.”
I don’t have the answer but someone needs to figure something out soon because today’s kuckleheads or tomorrow’s inmates/fathers—talk about your vicious circle. But, those coaches are well-intended professionals and you don’t measure an operation by who comes into the program; you notice the quality of the products who finish. Of those loudmouths, only a few will be with the team in the fall. Some folks can’t take discipline.
In education, teachers who can’t reach the youth should admit failure and allow someone else the opportunity to get the job done because the consequences of failure are bigger threats to America’s future than the Taliban.
While I won’t say it, some friends think the answer starts with encouraging less than bright people to refrain from populating the nation with idiots. We have all been riding in a car and saw rough-looking teens courting and someone said, “let’s hope they don’t have a child because that gene pool is polluted.” I can see it in their eyes; a disconnect from a functioning value system and the inability to determine appropriate social behavior. What’s sad is that many will ended up in shackles like the ones we worked hard to throw off. I can’t watch that happen.
To end on a positive note, it feels good when a young adult stops me and say thanks for trying to talk some sense into his head during his teen years. I say no problem, it is the least I can do since folks talked to me during my teen years and if you get really rich buy me a pontoon boat.
Project Logic Ga 
Interesting topic and perspective. In my dayalso there was a certain level of bravado necessary to fit in. But nothing to the extent you witnessed. Our undersrtood protocols were, no profanity in the company of adults or any authority figure. Very limited foul language aroud the fairer gender.Never a continous string of prfanity. Quick wit trumped cursing any day.
As for today I find myself in very limited setting with young folks So I cannot comment to the extent as you have. Nonetheless you have revealed the key: Always speak out to a young person acting inappropriately regardless of the offense. Although a single correcting comment from a stranger may not yield a desired result, it does plant that seed. Over time those collective comments will have a positive effect.
I applaude speking to the coaches also. An effective deterent of potential retribution by somone who knows the offending youth works well.
I cannot recall where, but a few years back I heard about a unique and simple approach to dealing with young people who act out in school. Rather than calling the parent, school leaders also called the parents employers and gained the parent excused, but paid, time off (2 hours) so the parent could come to school and join the child in class and more importantly during class change time. Only required a few instances but had a chilling effect on the schools atmosphere. So away with the empty threat of calling your mother. And on to Your mom will be joining you in class tomorrow to see if she can help you behave.
So don’t give up on young folks who are missing the acceptable behavior class, and demonstrate what is acceptable by simply providing a gentle reminder.
Maybe it\’s me, or maybe just being a father for the past 13 years but if I saw or heard that language on my block I would have to put a foot in it right away, connected or not. (I\’m a fan of Mayor Giuliani in that respect. If you stop the everyday offenses and let them know you\’re watching, it puts a halt to greater offenses) I wasn\’t there and can\’t second guess the Ram but I\’ve stepped outside my door several times and said \”HEY, what is that mess coming out of your mouth?\” (my name is Wes, don\’t be around me with that mess) only to have boys look down at their sneakers, blush, and change the tenor of the conversation. They know they are wrong.
Football players are not not the brightest people to begin with and a group of football players egging each other on and trying to out do each other (fueled by creatine or some other fake protein/muscle vitamin) with lewdness may not be the best example. If I heard that coming from the Math or Debate teams I would have had to jack somebody!!
When does your volunteer coaching job start?
Usetobeagaboy: Are you kidding with the name: you were born in Augusta and did K-12 there; you worked for a GA member of congress in DC until you came back to the home state to work at the Atlanta Olympics. Just because you were out in Salt Lake City and briefly in Alabama doesn’t mean you are not a Georgia guy because you are back in DC with Homeland Security.
Thanks for the comments and your ideas make common sense. But these kids today are “strapped” so we must be careful. They need sweet Jesus.
Furious Stylez
I can’t be a volunteer since I still have a student loan and am yet to own a home; I “needs” to get that coin. I am about to go there since we played chess in the loft building in DC twice a week for days.
I am about to get cultural because while we are both Black, your family came from the West Indies and knowledgeable people realized that Americans from the West Indies work hard to ensure that their children respect themselves, the culture and family. At times, these families shutdown the idea of their daughters marrying a regular African American if that young man has a disregard for how he carries himself and treats others. I am trying to think if I ever knew a Jamaican teen just coming up pregnant for some joker; you cats don’t play that.
I remember many a time when you wanted to stand up regarding an unjust in our southwest D.C. area and I was ready to ignore the situation. Democrat congressional staffer talking the talk but not walking the walk; we learned well from our bosses.
I see on your facebook page that you flew from Africa with the ambassador last week. Keep doing it big and we are proud of you, my buddy at Homeland Security, and Q who is high up at USDA. I knew you cats back when and look forward to following your careers.
Sly,
I understand the cultural differences but Afram culture is not THAT different from Jamaican culture, and nobility and lack of nobility exist in ALL cultures.
I came back from Baghdad this week sitting behind the Ambo the whole way. I’m back assigned to the US now after a year out there so you won’t be able to shut me up 🙂