This weekend we will hear everything that can be said fondly about America’s fathers. I wanted to take this opportunity to salute an often forgotten group, intentional childless men. Some men take parenthood so seriously that they wait for the optimal time and conditions to bring a child into this world.
If those conditions never occur, some deliberate guys choose to enjoy their wives, extended family and/or the sweet single life. My wise cousin who grew up in Philly tells me to go where you want and do what you want when you want because you have neither “chick nor child.” That statement must be her way of saying thank heaven that your selfish behind realized your selfishness and skipped parenthood.
Fatherhood in the Black community is the toughest job you will ever love. But, it is a roll of the dice. My deer hunting friends (code for White guys) put that little red and black Georgia Bulldog football in the crib with their sons and look forward to gameday at Sanford Stadium in twenty years. Of course, their sons will likely be sitting in the stands next to them rather than on the field. What about the brothers who think that their sons practicing basketball 6 hours a day will get them into the N.B.A. If Junior would get his homework with that much determination he could be in the N.B.A., the National Bankers Association and own a basketball team. Wait a second; non-parents have no rights to offer commentary on parenting.
If I had to work as hard as my daddy did—that man loved working- to provide for some kids who might turnout to be crappy people, I will pass and by the looks of things a considerable percentage of those who produced children should have passed also. If the kids are here, it is time to step up because the human infant is likely more dependant than any other mammal. “Did he just refer to my precious buddle of joy as a mammal?”
In high school, I worked at a little radio station and next to the microphone the station owner placed a Winston Churchill quote. Basically, the quote stated that it was not expected of you to do your best; it was expected of you to do what was expected of you. That statement has Father’s Day written all over it.
In politics and policy, the officeholders from my community are reluctant in asking young people to refrain from starting families until they are prepared. Of course, parenthood and marriage (not in that order) actually seasons and matures some fellows—who knows. Successful guys my age can always get involved with Big Brothers, be good uncles or adopt a nice teenager.
The public assistance and abortion debate should include targeting teens with real options and information so they will hopefully understand that parenthood is different from having a puppy and I have seen some folks with babies who I would not trust with a puppy.
How in the world has the conservative movement failed to capitalize on the common sense mindset of reasonable African Americans? I like President Obama as head of the executive branch of government and the residual benefit of a strong young family in the White House is priceless to Americans of any color. If the Georgia GOP wants to pick up a congressional seat in say Macon, a genteel Black Republican with say a strong intellectual husband would appeal to our community like southern Obamas—giving Black fatherhood examples is better than still another grant.
Girls with “daddy issues” might have messy relationships with men. Boys with absent fathers might ended being raised by the streets and fellow inmates. The women who were mother and father to their children should enjoy their second holiday in two months.